How did a year go by so quickly? I just turned 60 last April, and now I’m turning 61!
60 has been an amazing, turning point age for me. I remember this time last year so clearly. I was preparing for my Blessingway, a ceremony I asked my friend, Jean to create for me. I somehow knew that becoming 60 would be significant and didn’t want to wait until my 65th birthday (what Jean and I had originally planned) to receive and participate in this ceremony.
I was correct; this has been an important year. For the very first time in my life, I’ve begun to feel older. The details are personal, yet the experience is very real. Physical changes that had never been part of my life before now, are. That’s enough to change a perspective, but the big awakening I had was realizing my life is finite, (in this reality anyway) and I’m going to die.
No, I’m not ill. I’m just a Human Being whose life will eventually end. Like everyone. This might be nothing new to the Spiritual Healer part of me, but was quite humbling to the basic person part.
I’ve been thinking a lot about all the events that led me to this moment, what I’ve been calling “a time of the dissolution of ego.” Childhood experiences really do follow and affect us – fortunately and unfortunately. Ideally, one’s heart expands as the flow of Life continues, and I like to think mine is in that process. Some days I surprise myself when I experience just how big my heart has grown.
The big questions I have now are – where do I want to go from here? I’ve entered my third trimester of Life (as Jane Fonda calls it). What do I want to change? To do? Where do I want to be? What is most important to me? I’m a Human Being. Healer. Mother. Sister. Daughter. Friend. An Aunt, whose nephew has yet to be found. How do I want to spend the next phase and grow to become an empowered, vibrant Crone? A Free Crone.
During this changing time, it’s more important than ever for Faith and Trust to be my foundation. The other day as I was driving home from doing errands, my mind was absorbed in the “what ifs” of my future visions. All of a sudden I heard quite clearly, “Stay in the present moment; the future will take care of itself.”
That has become my mantra. And with Faith and Trust in place, I see how staying in the present moment creates the space for multitudes of rich and expansive possibilities. Am I ready to continue walking into this “third trimester of Life?” YES. My feet are already taking me into unexplored territories of body, mind and soul, as well as, thank goodness, back to Peru again and again.