I just returned from the California Bay Area where I was house-sitting for a friend. I lived there for twenty years, from 1979-99 and love going back. It’s where my son was born at home. The place I became a mother, midwife, teacher and healer. Where wonderful old and new friends live. The Bay is a prime location for outstanding food and restaurant choices – which I love, as well as cultural and intellectual opportunities. Whenever I’m there, so many memories come alive, and I realize how deep my roots go.

In addition to visiting with loved ones, I taught the Shamanic Journeying Workshop and saw people for Healing Ceremonies. One day I received this email:

“I had a dream last night that you put the mesa I made on my head and told me to wake up. I shot out of bed and didn’t sleep the rest of the night. I found you online and saw the Peru trip was coming soon. Please send me details.”

I was astonished. This is truly the Mystery of Life. I hadn’t seen or thought about this person for fifteen years. Are there other people that I, from a high place of awareness, attend to? (Is this why sleeping is hard to come by some nights?) Yes, the workshop and healings were amazing, but this took me to a new place of Astonishment and Gratitude.

Within the very same time frame, I received some sad news from a friend that unfortunately, affected my summer plans. And a long awaited email arrived from a woman I was hoping would edit my book. Ahhhhhhh. Lovingly, she offered sobering feedback and advice.

Big emotions unearthed and surfaced – Frustration, Insecurity, Anger and Confusion. I couldn’t understand how all of these things could be happening at the same time as Astonishment and Gratitude. Somehow I had to gain insight and unify these experiences.

I took a walk to move the energy. Luckily, there is a fabulous trail right across the street from where I was staying. I walked fast, processing and talking out loud to the spirits and myself; I must have looked like a like a crazy person. When I got to the top of the hill, my heart was racing, and for some reason, I looked up. Two red tail hawks were soaring in a current only they were aware of. I watched, knowing they had a message for me. With wings outstretched the entire time, they flowed around in larger and larger circles and eventually glided away, out of my range of vision.

“Stay in the current,” they told me. “Don’t try to stop it. Don’t push it. Keep your wings open, and trust you’re being taken someplace you’re not yet able to see.”

I realized a perfect yanantin, the Quechua word for “union of dissimilar energies” was occurring. The expansion of the workshop, healings and first email communication was uniting with what felt like a contraction of disappointment and heavy energies. Two experiences appearing to be dissimilar were occurring simultaneously.

As the hawks reminded me, within the flow, movement is always occurring. Who’s to say what’s better? Some things are obvious in the moment, and others manifest in the unseen future. How can I really say one experience is amazing and another isn’t?

Walking the path of Faith and Trust and seeing Life from a shamanic perspective allows me to accept and find power in all of it. Sometimes not right away, but eventually. Miraculous healings, awakenings during the night, distressing news and hawks circling all exist within the same interconnected flow of living energies.

I just have to remember to keep my wings spread, and trust the flow. No stopping or pushing. No needing to know or decide what the future holds. Just stay in Allow, and embrace the Mystery as it unfolds in its most profound ways.

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