The city of Teotihuacan was built over two thousand years ago. Around 800 A.D. the Teotihuacanos vacated it, although no one really knows why or where they went. When the Toltecs arrived, they considered it a holy place. Centuries later, the Aztecs found Teo in ruins. They acknowledged its greatness and were the ones who named it Teotihuacan. This word, roughly translated from Nahuatl, their native language, might mean – the place where man becomes god. The Aztecs named the pyramids as the Sun and Moon based on their cosmology and named the north/south passageway through the city the Avenue of the Dead, as they assumed that the completely overgrown temples along this thoroughfare must have been burial mounds. (Thank you, Emily, for help with this brief, concise history.)

Underneath the very center of what has become known as the Pyramid of the Sun is a natural cave. About one thousand years before the pyramid was built on top of it, (three thousand years ago!!) the cave was carved by hand into the shape of a four petaled flower. This symbol, the four petaled flower, is the center of not only the pyramid, but the entire complex of Teotihuacan.

During our group journey last year, Emily and I realized it was time to immerse ourselves in Teo without any of the preconceived ideas or names of things given to us by the Aztecs or archeologists. We released our attachments, and with open hearts and minds, our group explored the ruins. Our intention was to learn from the spirits and ancestors still living there. Who are they? What was Teo really about?

I have been attracted to and fascinated by the four petaled flower at Teotihuacan since my very first visit in 2005. It’s a symbol found in various parts of the city and very well preserved in a particular area I’m drawn to time and time again.

Last year, as our group sat on top of the Pyramid of the Sun, directly in the center of both the pyramid and the cave of the four petaled flower which lay far beneath us, my Teotihuacano spirit teacher, Sarayna, told us (in part,)

“As you hear me speak, realize the energy of creation is filling you from underneath, up through the base of this pyramid. Let it fill you. This is what we did in my day.

The four petaled flower is a symbol of All Life, Wholeness, Beauty, Fragrance, Bounty, Harvest, and Union. My people loved and revered this symbol.

The energy of each petal imparts uniqueness, and each uniqueness comes together in the center. The center of the flower is a combined union of all of the petals, and itself radiates out to create the energy of the entire symbol, which is its own uniqueness.

In my day, which you cannot see with your outer eyes, every home had a specific altar place where the four petaled flower resided and radiated.

Sometimes we would become the four petaled flower. During ceremony and in festivals, we would dance, sing and integrate the symbol inside of ourselves in a deeply conscious way – All Life, No Beginning, No End, All Unified. This is human shape-shifting.

It is important to instill the four petaled flower within. Imagine your heart center as the circle within the flower, and each petal radiating from your upper chest.

Every day is an opportunity to live as a four petaled flower. Receive its energy deep within. Become the energy, and feed the energy to all humanity. ”

After this teaching, I realized our next journey (the one we recently completed) would focus on the four petaled flower. Emily and I had been in love with this symbol for years, and it was time for us to discover more about it.

Which brings me to the present moment, where I am deep in the process of integrating the experiences and teachings of “The Journey of the Four Petaled Flower.”

Eight women from around the country joined Emily and myself, each one drawn to the trip, yet not really knowing why. Before the group arrived, Emily and I were sitting around her kitchen table talking about the journey, and all of a sudden we simultaneously awoke to the purpose of the week. After coming out of shock, we laughed and became very excited.

Our core task was to reawaken the Four Petaled Flower, the symbol of the Unity of All Life, and integrate it into Universal Consciousness.

We were to learn about the flower from our loving guides and teachers, and bring the image of the four petaled flower to the planet and people in a new way. We were to become the flower.

And specifically in regards to Teotihuacan, we were to be in and see the ruins in a new way. To begin at the center, the cave, and walk along the path of the flower as we consciously activate what appeared to be its hidden petals. This is a unique, four petaled route through the ruins of Teotihuacan which includes being outside of the gated area and in the surrounding communities. No one in our lifetime, as far as we know, has seen Teo in this way, the way of the ancients.

The group was up for it, and we spent a week actively committed to what we felt to be our mission.

Here are a few basic things we learned that I’d like to share with you now:

* The four petaled flower is a universal symbol that is embedded within the body of Earth.
* The image and energetic imprint of the flower was brought to us from somewhere in the outer cosmos by some of our star family ancestors who placed it within the Earth in an infinite number of directions. The symbol spins out from the center an infinite number of times and creates a complete sphere, which is what we perceive as Earth.
* The four petaled flower is a powerful healing symbol.
* The energy of each petal absolutely does have its own uniqueness.

We have no doubt that the symbol of the four petaled flower has been re-discovered and activated. Have you felt it? And as the Earth does her part by radiating the symbol, each of us has the opportunity to do ours.

The goal now – mine, Emily’s, the group’s – perhaps yours?? is to remember that we are all the Earth, as well as representatives of the Earth, and to live the symbol of the four petaled flower, envisioning it radiating out from deep within.

It’s not enough to look in the mirror every day and say to the image we see reflected, “You are a four petaled flower, a four petaled flower of wholeness.” That’s just the beginning. Our flower comes alive and blossoms as we live it. Moment to moment, day by day, the scent, beauty and color radiates.

How do we live as a four petaled flower? By seeing through the eye of the flower, which is actually the eye of the heart. As we see through and act from the eye of the heart of the flower, we are able to become the evolved humans we’re each in the process of becoming.

(I’ll write more about the Four Petaled Flower in the future.)

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Beth has a good life. A loving husband, children, grand children and long time friends. She owns her own business in her town and is well liked and respected.
About 9 months ago, Beth lost her father. They were very close, and she loved him dearly. As the days and weeks went by after his death, Beth began feeling odd. She was in mourning, of course, but something else was happening.

Beth began noticing she was unable to feel and find herself. Where was she? Beth noticed her ability to laugh had disappeared, and she was unable to feel any joy at all. All she could experience emotionally was sadness and grief. Beth became quite tense and agitated and began staying home much of the time, becoming as she told me, a recluse. Sleep became her good friend.

A psychiatrist prescribed medications that didn’t help, and eventually Beth ended up spending almost two weeks in a psychiatric hospital. When I met her, Beth was very depressed and discouraged. Nothing was helping, nothing was changing, and she couldn’t bear to live that way any longer. Something had to shift. Beth had an appointment for electro-shock therapy scheduled for the next week; she said the doctors didn’t know what else to do for her.

The intention for Beth’s healing was, “My soul is back, and I am whole and myself again.”

It’s very important that our healing intention is our personal miracle. Intention acts like a key; it opens the layers of the soul that need attending so we can eventually realize and live our intention.

As Beth lay upon my healing table, I channeled the Light of Love. It moved from my center, down my arms, out my hands and into and through the bottoms of her feet. The Light filled her. It purified her body and soul in preparation for the soul retrieval that would eventually occur. I sat there a long while. When the time was right, my teacher and power animal took me on a journey on Beth’s behalf. We went to the Death Gateway.

I first encountered the Death Gateway in 1997 during my shamanic initiation. In my experience, each of us, as Spirit, moves through this gateway upon our physical death. It’s a grey tunnel that eventually merges with a tunnel of Light, which after a while becomes the great expansiveness of Light. I’ve been taken to the Death Gateway many times for clients.

Here is the story that unfolded:

When Beth’s father died, he left his body, moved through the Death Gateway and into the Light. Beth was in a state of trauma and grief, and as a result, a part of her soul followed her father into the gateway. At first she (the soul part) desperately tried to catch up with him and accompany him into the Light; Beth really wanted to be with her father. She was unable to pass into the Light tunnel though, because it wasn’t her time to leave the physical reality. Beth’s soul part became frantic; she couldn’t unite with her father and didn’t know how to get out of the Death Gateway. Realizing she was stuck, she fell into deep resignation and despair.

When we experience trauma in our lives, in order to emotionally survive the situation, a part or parts of our soul dissociate and end up in what many call “non-ordinary” reality. Soul parts go to a limitless number of places in the spiritual realms, sometimes areas of mass consciousness, such as the Death Gateway, and other times to realms that are based on the unique make-up of the individual person. Soul parts remain stuck in time and live in the experience that created the need for their dissociation, even if it happened 50 years ago in linear time.

It’s an illusion to think our dissociated and detached parts are separate from us. They are us, and we, on the physical, become a reflection of the emotional state of our soul parts. This often leads to physical, mental, emotional and/or energetic illness and is why most people are unable to come into present time and heal.

Post-traumatic stress disorder is a classic medical diagnosis of soul loss. Medications might mask symptoms, yet it’s the restoration of the soul part(s) that allows us to free ourselves from the past and live our lives more fully in the moment.

The agitation and depth of resignation and despair Beth’s lost soul part experienced dramatically affected her emotional state. She felt it all, and then fell into a deep depression. As a result of this new trauma, another core part of Beth’s soul dissociated. I was brought to the Land of the Dead, another mass consciousness realm, to retrieve it.

By the end of the ceremony, Beth’s two soul parts were recovered, had been bathed in my healing waters (in the journey) and were restored to her soul, where they belonged. My teacher said within three days she would notice a difference in her emotional experience. Immersed in the Light of Love, when the healing was complete, Beth’s entire soulscape (energy field) was glowing.

As of this writing, I haven’t spoken with Beth, although I did spend time with her friend the other night. She had recently been at a gathering with Beth and told me she was chatty and clearly enjoying herself.

Hearing this was thrilling to me.

Dissociation and soul loss are themes for the majority of my clients, whether they’re physically ill or emotionally suffering. Over the past twenty years I’ve seen shamanic soul retrieval greatly enhance the lives of countless numbers of people, myself included. We must all come home to ourselves. How else can we live in the present moment? The Here and Now. – no longer triggered and living out of past traumas and wounds. Free.

Welcome Home Beth.

Intuition is our Self, as Spirit/Consciousness, speaking to us, the Human Being. It is our Truth. We often experience this as a heart based knowing, although some feel it in their solar plexus. When we intuit something, our inner ears are open to our Spirit, Soul and Heart.

Intuition is always present, yet do we pay attention to it? Are we taking the time to listen to our Selves? And once we’ve heard, do we respond? Noticing and listening are only parts of Intuition; taking action regarding what we know is living Intuition at its fullest.

Like everything else, Intuition is energy. Have you ever heard, felt, sensed or known something and then chosen to ignore it? How did that make you feel? Were you left with an ache in your heart or gut? Energy likes movement and circulation. When we dis-acknowledge our Selves, the energy becomes stuck. The more we do this, energy accumulates and eventually manifests within our physical bodies. Illnesses such as heart attack, hypertension, autoimmune diseases and digestive disorders are oftentimes the results of a lifetime of ignored Intuition.

We’ve all been confused at times and thought, “I’m not sure what I’m feeling. Is this my Intuition or my mind?”

When you find yourself in that situation, stop. Take a breath. Then focus your attention on your mind, and breathe the energy of your mind down, to the center of your chest – your Heart/Soul space. Feed your Soul, Heart and Light with the energy of your overactive mind. Then ask yourself – what do I want to know? The energy that had been bound up within your mind will now be filling your Soul. Look there, and you’ll find the answers you were seeking.

Intuition is the call of the Spirit, Soul and Heart. The mind is a tool of the Human. I was once told, “The Soul is the conductor of the Human life, and the mind is an instrument of the Soul.”

If you ever think your Intuition is blocked, look within. Do you feel safe? Are you comfortable in your own skin? Do you feel caught within societal or cultural constraints? Intuition cannot be blocked by anyone or anything outside of the Self. The freer we are within, the more powerful and potent our Intuition is.

We can always use the tool of intention to unblock or enhance our Intuition. Intend to live from the knowing of your Soul. Intend to live in the awareness of your true identity, Spirit in Human form. Intend to remember that we’re all One, connected to everything and everyone. If you have these intentions for life, your Intuition will flourish. Yet remember – it’s not just in the knowing, it’s in the trusting of the knowing and then taking the appropriate action. We always have a choice whether or not to listen and act.

Here’s an exercise:
Place your hands upon your center, your Heart/Soul space. See, feel and sense the Light of Love; it’s like the flame of a candle. Inhale to the Light, and exhale as you breathe it down your arms and out your hands. Ask for all energies that might be keeping you from fully realizing and living your Intuition to release. Feed your Light with your breath.

Intuition is the way our Self as Spirit, expresses to us, the Human, the knowings of our Soul. Everyone has the capacity to live this relationship.

Secondly, over the past six months I’ve been in a big inner process. My Council, teachers in the other realms who hold the overview and lead me to heightened awakenings, moved me into a new level. It’s kind of like going from grammar school into junior high, and it’s been an adjustment. As I’ve been integrating this new expansion, I’m realizing that they’ve been telling me these same things for years. Ahhhhh, – poco a poco – little by little – I’m beginning to “get it.” A big THANK YOU to all the Masters, Healers, Teachers, Shamans and Spirits of the Light.

Today is the Winter Solstice, (although honestly, I thought it was yesterday, which is when I did my ceremony and created and offered a despacho.) It’s the longest and darkest day of the year. A time for new beginnings as light returns and fills and lengthens our days. And so my final gratitude (for right now) is to the Great Mystery. The Light of Love that doesn’t care if I was right about the Solstice date or not. The Light of Love we each are, that hears and feels our prayers and intentions every minute of every day. THANK YOU.

The Light of Love is All.

]]> http://fullcirclespiritualhealing.com/a-few-words-of-gratitude/feed/ 9 http://fullcirclespiritualhealing.com/spiritual-dilemma/ http://fullcirclespiritualhealing.com/spiritual-dilemma/#comments Wed, 07 Dec 2011 07:28:39 +0000 Annie Fuller http://fullcirclespiritualhealing.com/?p=1208 Continue reading →]]> Over the years I’ve been working as a healer, I’ve noticed a particular theme arise. I call it Spiritual Dilemma. Each person’s situation is unique, yet here are some generalities, as well as one specific story.

Most people who experience Spiritual Dilemma feel they’re in a body by mistake. They say they “didn’t sign up for this” and their life on Earth is a mistake. Part of their soul is in battle with, and resistance to, being Human. This experience and perspective affects their entire being; life becomes a struggle and the body, a prison. Suicide becomes an option, for they passionately want to “go home” and see no other way out. A few common characteristics for people in Spiritual Dilemma are: feeling victimized, depression, anger, spaciness, deep spiritual connection and energetic sensitivity.

I believe there are no accidents. Each of us, as Spirit, makes conscious decisions and choices regarding our incarnations. When we’re in the Spirit Realm phase of life, we always have the assistance of guides and teachers, yet because Spirit is ever-evolving consciousness, they’re able to serve us only to the extent we’re aware and open. Perspective varies in all realms and realities, not just this one. As individuated spiritual beings, a core part of our evolution is the expansion and awakening of perspective.

I first experienced Spiritual Dilemma in my early days as a healer when I was facilitating a healing ceremony for my friend, Elise. It became apparent that part of her soul wasn’t present, and this predicament was creating much of her suffering. I asked Elise if she was willing to come back to herself and into her body and was completely taken aback when she responded with a resounding “NO!!!!”

Because we were in ceremony, Elise was more in touch with her soul’s knowings than in her usual day-to-day consciousness. I questioned her, and watched and listened as she, full of fear and anger, spoke.….

“I don’t want to be on Earth. I never wanted to. I just want to be with my people. My people are not here, and I can’t be here. Even if I wanted to, I can’t. If I’m here, I’ll loose touch with all my people. Let me go back where I belong! I hate Earth; it’s too heavy and dense.”

Because I don’t believe anyone incarnates unwillingly, I knew Elise had chosen to be on Earth; no one made her come, as she was feeling. Somehow she had forgotten this. As the ceremony continued, I guided Elise deep within her soul, where she began to remember ……

It had been a long while since Elise, as Spirit, had chosen to incarnate on Earth. She’d spent most of her lifetimes upon other planets where she felt a sense of safety, energetic refinement and familiarity. As her memories unfolded, Elise was surprised to realize that she did make the decision to come to Earth; it wasn’t an accident at all. She had karma to resolve, as well as needed to experience some of the many opportunities for awakening the Earthly Realm provides.

When Elise, as Spirit, consciously left the Spirit Realm, she moved freely along the energetic currents of the Birth Gateway towards conception. As she began feeling the more dense energies of Earth, she froze. I watched as Elise re-experienced the original incapacitating fears that overcame her at that time. In that instant during the initial event, a core part of Elise’s soul made decisions about Human life and dissociated and detached.

Soul parts are multidimensional aspects of the soul. When we experience trauma, part of our soul splits off, goes to a place in the Spiritual Realms and becomes stuck in time. We emotionally survive the trauma, yet there’s a cost; aspects of our essential beingness and vitality are not with us in the present moment. Soul parts live a past experience as if it was the present, and because they’re part of us, no matter how old we might be, we’re affected by their state of being.

One of the goals for Humans is to be whole, with all fragmented parts of ourselves from past lifetimes and experiences joined together, like a fully completed jigsaw puzzle. In this way we’re able to live in the present while reaping the benefits of wisdom gained from past events, yet not be run by the past itself.

Elise had been living her entire life, thirty-three years, with part of her soul in the Birth Gateway, one that was fearful, angry, and resistant, and continuously demanding to “go back” to the Spirit Realm.

In daily life, Elise felt blessed by her strong spiritual connection. She experienced her guides around all the time and was comforted by this. With great passion and clarity, Elise told me if she allowed the part of her soul in the Birth Gateway to heal and return to her, she would loose contact with her guides, “her people,” and be alone in a foreign place. This was an either/or situation for her, and she didn’t know what to do.

Elise was not only stuck in the Birth Gateway, but attached to duality and separation as well.

Spiritual Dilemma is based in duality and separation, which makes it difficult for so many. We feel a need to make choices and don’t realize we can have it all, and everything that exists is within us. We are Divine. As Human Beings, we are Spirit within form, and the Universe wants us to be whole, present and fully alive.

Elise’s task was to choose to trust she could have it all. That by opening her heart, lovingly acknowledging her angry, resistant soul part and then bringing it back “home” into her soul where it belonged, she could be Human and have a relationship with her “people.” Both.

I assisted Elise as she courageously traveled deep within and arrived at a place of trust. Once there, she was able to open her heart, and from a place of self-love, consciously connect with her angry and resistant soul part. I witnessed her help that part of herself become aware of the situation and come to an understanding of the need for healing and resolution. I was moved to tears as Elise took her in and brought her “home.”

Elise had a powerful healing that day, one that took months to integrate. At first it was difficult. Because she was more fully in her body, she felt heavier and experienced new aches and pains. Elise communicated with her restored soul part daily. She lovingly assisted her in experiencing the joys of embodiment and the beauty of Earth by going on hikes, eating good food and spending time with friends. Elise also began tracking her anger and resentment. In this way she gained a better understanding of her overall life experiences and greater insight regarding the necessity of this Earthly incarnation.

As Elise became more grounded, she happily discovered that the relationships with her guides remained and actually improved. She also felt stronger and more energetic, for the heavy energy of anger, which had exhausted her for so many years, had been transmuted into refined energy and was now food for her body. Within a period of about six months, Elise experienced a sense of peace and purpose for the first time in her life.

Spiritual Dilemma is a real experience and rarely occurs without soul loss. Elise’s story is one example of the suffering it can cause and the healing that is always possible.

Ezekiel says, “11:11 is a pre-encoded number within the DNA of many. It is another call to awakening. It is also pre-encoded in a different way, within the body of Earth.

11:11:11 is a time to usher in the Divine Feminine. It is a time to anchor in the Template of Oneness.

Ceremonies of this sort will be occurring throughout the globe, as well as on other planets – calling forth and anchoring in Oneness, Unity and the reign of the Divine Feminine.

The Divine Feminine, in Her healed and healthy state, is only Love, and Love is Unity. The Divine Masculine, in His healed and healthy state, is only Love, and Love is Unity.

For over 2000 years, the Divine Masculine has become thwarted by the wounds of man, and its manifestation upon the planet has become one of duality – war, power, death and devastation.

It is time for the reign of the Divine Feminine. The power of Her. The power of Her to affect Unity. The power of Her to restore Wholeness. The power of Her to grow Her children, birth Her children and know Her children will never die in a war. For within the power of Her, there is no war. There is no starvation. There is Unity. There is Love.

11:11:11 is a pre-encoded number, my friends, that signals the onset of the reign of the Divine Feminine. Help call forth that energy. Help anchor that energy. Help free that energy. Within thyself and within the atmosphere.

So the template surrounding the planet of Earth becomes one not of distorted masculine, one not of duality, but one of Feminine, Unity and Oneness. It is time.

It is important that there be men at your ceremony. Where are the men? The Divine Masculine, which has become distorted, seeks to heal itself. Bring forth the men. Women – bring your men. The men have become lost. Lost in work, lost in money, lost in time. Bring forth the men, for the men are needed for this task.

Praise the Masculine for its hard efforts, and honor the Feminine. Bring Her forth. It is Her time. She and She alone is at the forefront of Unity in these times right now, as She has been in the very long ago past.”

That’s how it’s been for me in regards to writing. For years I’ve had books “waiting to be written” in my space. Calling to me. Asking to come through. Saying NOW.  I’ve gotten excited, organized and begun the project many times, saying to myself with great clarity, “this is exactly what I’m supposed to be doing.”

And just as soon I’d get rolling, I’d stop. The scope and enormity of what I was doing would come over me and I’d become blocked in overwhelm. Trapped in the overview, I’ve felt over and over again, “This is just too big. I can’t do it. And if I’m going to do it, I need help.”

But stopping never resolved anything. The problem is – when I stop writing, the books don’t go away. They wait.

Many books are waiting for me.

I finally realized that I’m pregnant, pregnant with books. They’ve been patient with me, these book spirits, trusting that some day I’ll nurture and feed them. They know it’s their destiny to grow, develop and eventually be born. I’ve felt the fullness of them and heard their calls for many years. I’ve denied them their birthright, and they’re finally loosing their patience.

So, up against the wall within, I surprised myself and surrendered. In public. It happened at the end of a talk I recently gave. “Where can I get the book?” people asked. “Can I have your notes?” I realized I needed to write the book of that talk. How could I not? The entire outline was in my hands. I found myself asking the community for help.

And that very night, in the audience, sat my midwife.

We all need midwives in our lives at various times. When we buy a new home, we have our realtor midwife. If we’re lucky, we have a good car mechanic midwife. For our spiritual evolution, we can count on our healer midwife. And when we’re pregnant, we’re in the traditional domain of the midwife, one who assists with the growth and birth of babies.

A midwife is wise. She knows, sees and can hold the entirety of a space, whatever it might be. She gently, and sometimes firmly, guides us through an important process, phase or task in our life.

The universe gifted me with a midwife, and I’m grateful. She knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that helping me is part of her path. She’s experienced in her role. She understands my work and intentions for writing and is willing to be in partnership with me. I like and respect her.

My midwife is teaching me how to nourish the spirit of the book, from its already conceived beingness to its eventual completion. Its birth into form.

To begin, I’ve had to decide which book wanted to be born first. I think I must have taken fertility medications because there are at least triplets or quadruplets in there. I checked in with all of them, and luckily, the answer was quite clear. Then my midwife gave me a task. What a gift! Just one job at a time. No more overwhelm; she’s holding the space – in the present and for what’s to come – and I can yield to her guidance and wisdom and focus on one aspect of writing at a time. She sees the bigger picture, and this allows me to rest comfortably in the microcosm.

My present assignment is to become clear about my purpose and intention and how I’ll achieve them for you, my future readers – the community I’m hoping will embrace my “baby.”

Poco a poco, as they say in Spanish. Little by little. I hit the wall and surrendered. And in my surrender, the universe responded. I call that grace. When you think of me, see me nurturing my little one, my first “book baby.” I’ll grow her at a steady pace every day, and eventually she’ll be complete and ready for birth. Out of my womb of creativity and into our global community. I’m hoping my pregnancy and labor are relatively easy. However it all goes, I have my midwife, as well as my faith and trust in the process of Life.

Oh!! My midwife’s name is Mary, and the book is about Spiritual Healing. Of course.

Welcome to my first Blog entry.