How did a year go by so quickly? I just turned 60 last April, and now I’m turning 61!
60 has been an amazing, turning point age for me. I remember this time last year so clearly. I was preparing for my Blessingway, a ceremony I asked my friend, Jean to create for me. I somehow knew that becoming 60 would be significant and didn’t want to wait until my 65th birthday (what Jean and I had originally planned) to receive and participate in this ceremony.
I was correct; this has been an important year. For the very first time in my life, I’ve begun to feel older. The details are personal, yet the experience is very real. Physical changes that had never been part of my life before now, are. That’s enough to change a perspective, but the big awakening I had was realizing my life is finite, (in this reality anyway) and I’m going to die.
No, I’m not ill. I’m just a Human Being whose life will eventually end. Like everyone. This might be nothing new to the Spiritual Healer part of me, but was quite humbling to the basic person part.
I’ve been thinking a lot about all the events that led me to this moment, what I’ve been calling “a time of the dissolution of ego.” Childhood experiences really do follow and affect us – fortunately and unfortunately. Ideally, one’s heart expands as the flow of Life continues, and I like to think mine is in that process. Some days I surprise myself when I experience just how big my heart has grown.
The big questions I have now are – where do I want to go from here? I’ve entered my third trimester of Life (as Jane Fonda calls it). What do I want to change? To do? Where do I want to be? What is most important to me? I’m a Human Being. Healer. Mother. Sister. Daughter. Friend. An Aunt, whose nephew has yet to be found. How do I want to spend the next phase and grow to become an empowered, vibrant Crone? A Free Crone.
During this changing time, it’s more important than ever for Faith and Trust to be my foundation. The other day as I was driving home from doing errands, my mind was absorbed in the “what ifs” of my future visions. All of a sudden I heard quite clearly, “Stay in the present moment; the future will take care of itself.”
That has become my mantra. And with Faith and Trust in place, I see how staying in the present moment creates the space for multitudes of rich and expansive possibilities. Am I ready to continue walking into this “third trimester of Life?” YES. My feet are already taking me into unexplored territories of body, mind and soul, as well as, thank goodness, back to Peru again and again.
Dear Annie,
Your thoughtful writing of this past year’s experiences was delightful to read. As an over 60 crone myself, I can relate to everything you’ve said. For me too, staying in the present moment is what I am constantly working on.
My past year ended with a long road trip in January, a journey to the many places I had on my bucket list to see and do, (Lake Tahoe, Mono Lake, Grand Canyon, Sedona, Sante Fe, with a wonderful 4 day conference in the middle of my solo journey to attend Sedona’s World Wisdom Days. I finished the 4th day of the WWD conference in a delightful workshop with Don Miguel Ruiz, and then a wonderful drumming circle healing group.
Don Miguel covered his Four Agreements, and his latest Fifth Agreement. What I came to understand from Don Miguel’s wisdom teachings was very simple; to listen to others with an open heart, but follow your own heart for what is right for you. Your own knowing, wisdom, discernment, higher self, oversoul has all the answers that are right for you.
This year has also brought me to a time of self interspection and looking back into the past to gleen the meaning and purpose of my life experiences, coming to a point where I can realize what were the most important ones, and understanding the lessons that were learned. For me, now that I’ve come to this age and place where I feel I’ve nearly done it all, I can relax without stressful worries and I no longer have to rush about struggling to fit in many more things into this already full lifetime.
For now I’m coasting, no pressure, and being some support for my daughter’s family with young grandchildren. I no longer have to conquer the world. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle, watching my grandchildren grow, and spending time outdoors in nature in my rural home and garden satisfies my innermost needs. I think the travel bug has left me now, and I feel those longer trips are over. An occasional weekend trip to the oceanside and leaving my rural mountain home for a few days is maybe the most desirable experience I might venture doing again. I no longer have a yearning for big cities, or larger group social gatherings.
If there is a time coming where there will be a grand shift for humanity, or ascension, I can say I’m ready any time, but maybe what I’m feeling might just be my own eventual transition from this body and lifetime. One of my favorite sages, Michael Tamura, tells of learning how to die gracefully, consciously, as a soul’s main purpose in life. He also practices staying in present time, and choosing to be happy. Not new revelations, the Yogis have practiced this for centuries. I think it’s a healthy growth period to go through, learning to let go of life in the flesh, and leaning how to transition from a physical body into a lightbody, rainbow body again.
It makes those sweet moments in life much sweeter, with your heart opening up even more, taking it all in with deep breaths, loving life in the moment, loving self, loving everything. What else is there? We are omnipresence, part of everything once we come to realize it. The best words I can use to describe it,
“I am love.”
Love you Annie…
Namaste.
~ Becky Novak : )
Greetings Annie ~ I also experienced the big shift in numbers of days~years this last year. And it has made a distinct impression on me. I am surprised at just how very significant this feels for me. With relocation and many unanticipated events and upheavals, I am reminded of the ritual of “give away” and wonder how much and how often this will continue to enter my path.
So I truly appreciate the continual reminder to stay in the present with faith and trust. And as a wise Buddhist teacher friend reminds me that an Awareness of any attachment even to this moment so that suffering is reduced.
Happiness is just a thought away or Present. I deeply welcome Presence, especially now at this time of life when I never even expected to live to this age in this life ad therefore did not plan. Ah well….. planning can make things easier, and so does Going with the Flow in the Here and Now.
Much Love and Peace to us from the Rockies ~
Alaya
I’m going to borrow your new mantra, Annie. I needed that! I’m looking for jobs and a place to live as I make a big move to a new city (long story). It is exciting and overwhelming. Finding dog friendly rentals is challenging, but, I’m going to stay in the moment and the future will take care of its self.
Raina
Dearest Annie,
You so graciously did my 70th Blessingway almost 2 years ago. I have been exploring this crone stage for awhile now. It feels like a time of peacefulness. I no longer need to make my mark in the world…been there done that. I am still teaching, but for the joy of it. The feeling of peace and comfort with myself is almost like a reward…a gift from spirit. I am very joyful and constantly grateful for every moment. It feels so good to be in this place. I’m not quite ready to leave the Earth plane, but I am at peace with the inevitable.
Thank you for being part of my journey.
Much love,
Marita
Hi Annie- I enjoyed your last post and the response that was written under it. Even at 44 and my husband in his 50’s I am feeling like age is creeping up and not particularly liking it. On the other hand wouldn’t want to go back either. There is so much to appreciate about my life now.
It is nice to hear perspectives from people foraging ahead and what the processes might be of getting older and transitioning. I enjoyed the post that described a relaxed state of being when you do not have to conquer the world, just enjoy, appreciate, be in the moment, and create something new. As my life has become very full and I have accomplished many dreams it seems that moving in the direction of pairing down and enjoying something simpler physically but maybe fuller emotionally makes sense. I guess it is also getting clear what you want the next phase to look like and manifesting it. Like Abraham-Hicks says- Prepaving……happy, healthy, happy, healthy, die.
When I think of animals transitioning it feels like no big deal! They get to be reborn into a new body with fresh new experiences! Watching my grandmother come back into a vibrant fresh new experience back into the arms of people who love her is inspiring. Knowing and seeing her back on her general path, yet much, much more. So I guess it is just about letting go of this lifetime gracefully which sounds like a process.
I am glad you opened up and expressed your feelings. It helps all of us process these life transitions from one phase to the next. Love you. Shawna