I posted this years ago and believe it’s important to post again. Given the state of our planet and government, many of us are loosing faith in Life. This gives the experience of Spiritual Dilemma a lot of power. Each person’s situation is unique, yet there are commonalities.

 

Many people experiencing Spiritual Dilemma feel they’re in a body by mistake.

They say they “didn’t sign up for this.” Part of their soul is in battle with, and resistant to, being Human. This experience and perspective affects everything. Life becomes a struggle and the body, a prison. Suicide is seen as an option, for they passionately want to “go home” and visualize no other way out.

There are no accidents.

Each of us, as Spirit, makes conscious decisions and choices regarding our incarnations. When we’re in the Spirit Realm phase of life guides and teachers assist us, yet because Spirit is ever-evolving consciousness, they’re able to serve us only to the extent we’re open and aware. Perspective varies in all realms and realities, not just this one. As individuated Spiritual Beings, a core part of our evolution is the awakening of consciousness.

I first experienced Spiritual Dilemma in my early days as a healer.

I was facilitating a healing ceremony for my friend, Elise, and it became apparent part of her soul wasn’t present. Elise was suffering, yet when I asked if she was willing to come into her body, her response was a resounding “NO!!!!” I didn’t expect that.

“I don’t want to be on Earth. I never wanted to. I just want to be with my people. My people are not here, and I can’t be here either. Even if I want to I can’t. If I’m here I’ll loose touch with everyone. Let me go back where I belong! I hate Earth. It’s too heavy and dense.”

No one incarnates unwillingly. 

Elise chose to come to Earth during these trying times, as did each of us, yet she forgot why. As the ceremony continued I guided her deep within her soul, and she began remembering. Here is her story:

It had been a long while since Elise, as Spirit, incarnated in Human form.

She’d spent many lifetimes upon other planets more energetically refined than Earth and felt at home in those energies. Spirit Elise consciously left the Spirit Realm and freely flowed through the energetic currents of the Birth Gateway towards conception, yet when she began feeling the energetic density of Earth, she froze. I watched Elise re-experience the original, incapacitating fear that overcame her at that moment. In an instant, a core part of her soul made decisions about Human life and dissociated.

When we experience trauma, part of the soul detaches, goes to a place in the Spiritual Realms, and becomes stuck in time.

This can happen whether we’re in form or before, as it did for Elise. In both past and present lives. We might emotionally survive the trauma, yet there’s a cost. Aspects of our essential vitality are absent and this can affect us on many levels. We might be unable to free ourselves from detrimental patterns, suffer from PTSD, and/or become physically unhealthy.

Elise felt blessed and comforted by her relationship with her guides. She passionately believed if she allowed the part of her soul in the Gateway to heal and return to her, she would loose contact with “her people” and be alone in a foreign land – Earth. This was an either/or situation, and she didn’t know what to do. She was not only stuck in the Birth Gateway, but attached to duality and separation as well.

The foundation of Spiritual Dilemma is duality and separation.

When we don’t realize everything is within us, we feel a need to make choices. Either/or. In actuality it is both/and. There is only Oneness, even if duality appears to be stronger. Human Beings are Spirit within form, both/and, and the Universe wants us to be whole. Elise’s task was to believe she could have it all.

Elise courageously traveled deep within and arrived at a place of core trust.

It came as quite a surprise when she realized she did make the decision to incarnate on Earth; it was not an accident, but a choice. She had karma to resolve, as well as needed to experience some of the many opportunities for spiritual evolution only the Earthly Realm provides. Clear, she opened her heart, lovingly acknowledged her soul part, and together they came to an understanding of the need for resolution. I was moved to tears when Elise brought her “home,” into her soul where she belonged.

A soul part is a multidimensional aspect of the soul.

It is alive, a part of us and continuously lives the past trauma as if it is happening in the present,  even if  the incident(s) happened fifty years (or lifetimes) ago. However old we might be, we’re affected by our soul loss. Ideally, all fragmented parts of ourselves are unified and  “home” within our present day soul. In this way we live in the here and now while reaping wisdom gained from past events. We do not want to be run by the past.

Elise had been living her entire  life with a fearful, angry, resistant part of herself in the Birth Gateway continuously demanding to “go back.” 

Her commitment to integrate and heal was strong. In her body for the first time, Elise experienced unfamiliar heaviness, yet still chose to trust. She communicated with her restored part daily and helped her feel the joys of embodiment and beauty of Earth. She/they went on hikes, ate good food, and spent time with friends. She also began tracking her lifetime of anger and resentment which was a revealing and potent process. After about six months, Elise felt strong, healthy, and a sense of peace and purpose. What a surprise it was when she discovered that being grounded enhanced her relationships with “her people.”

 

Spiritual Dilemma is a real experience and rarely occurs without soul loss. Elise’s story is one example of the suffering it can cause and the healing that is always possible. If you feel you’re here by mistake, or the intensity of Life overwhelms you, or you feel soul lost, contact me. I can help you come home and awaken to some of your purposes and intentions for incarnating during these troubled times. Pachamama/Mother Earth needs each one of us now, more than ever, to be in our bodies, present, and sharing our unique gifts.