About a week after I returned from the “Journey of the Four Petaled Flower,” integration was in full bloom.

I was exhausted. Not in my usual way of exhaustion—something different was happening. My emotions were overflowing. And my heart was wildly beating to a different drummer, so much so that my health-care goddesses sent me for an EKG. It was fine, and we decided I was in adrenal fatigue. Not radical, but as Susan said, “Your adrenals are unstable.” She likened it to the foundation of a house. An unstable foundation means tenuous walls and roof.

Adrenals are our fight or flight glands. When overactive, they get tired, which affects the entire body, hence my heartbeat irregularities and physical and emotional fatigue.

I stopped working and began a healing regime that included supplements, rest, excellent food, acupuncture, walking, knitting, ceramics, and friends.

Why did this happen? Some days I attribute it to the events of my entire life where survival has been a hallmark. Or I can hold this past year accountable. It could be my second Saturn return, where traditionally we enter into a total re-evaluation of our lives. I have a number of events I can blame, and each one is accurate.

Today I choose to give credit to the Four-Petaled Flower.  As I wrote in my last blog, the journey to Teotihuacan in April was about  “reawakening the Four-Petaled Flower—symbol of the Unity of All Life—and integrate it into Universal Consciousness.”

Daily, at sacred sites, we released heavy energy from our bodies and souls and received refined energy. When we felt full, we released even more heavy and received even more refined. We walked the path of our mission and  prepared—on the personal and as a group—to awaken the flower internally and externally.

And on our final day, while sitting in flower-formation on the top of the Pyramid of the Sun, we did just that.

Since I’ve been back, Serana, my spiritual guide and teacher from Teotihuacan, comes to me every night and places me in the original carved-flower-cave underneath the Pyramid of the Sun (or in what she calls the Temple of Awakening.) She’s very specific about where she wants me to be—which area of the temple, which aspect of the cave. Then I fall asleep.

When we receive large quantities of refined energy, the landscape of our soul changes. Much of this might go unnoticed, yet oftentimes things arise that we have to deal with. They were always there, but now their energetic frequencies are no longer compatible with our new state of being. Those heavier energies have to sift through our physical, mental, and emotional bodies to fully release, and as they do, all kinds of symptoms might show up.

Integration is core. It deserves respect and honoring. It calls for quiet “do nothing” time. Our conscious awareness must catch up to our new visions and perspectives, and needs the space to harmonize within our soul.

I honor integration time, yet I’ve been forced to realize how much more I need right now. My soul is in a huge process of being freed up so I can consciously become and live as a Four-Petaled Flower. As heavy energy in the forms of outdated core beliefs and deep emotions—all part of me for too long—finds its way out, each day I choose patience and trust. After all, as the energies integrate into universal consciousness, I imagine they have to integrate within mine also.

Everyone is a Four-Petaled Flower of Wholeness.

I encourage you to recognize this. Emily suggests we draw the symbol in the center of our chests—our heart/soul space—with essential oils every morning as a beautiful reminder.

Let’s breathe out and release heavy energy. And then breathe in the refined energy of lakes, mountains, flowers, birds, trees, rocks, the sun, moon………..

Allow time to INTEGRATE whatever may arise. Remember, it can take a while for our physical and emotional bodies to re-harmonize. Our health and happiness depends upon our commitment to ourselves, and integration is certainly a part of that commitment.

We are Four Petaled Flowers, Whole and Unified. Let’s care for ourselves.

This painting is by my multi-talented friend, Emily Grieves.