Fullcircle Spiritual Healing

The Initiation of the Phoenix,  A Camp Fire Perspective

There's a new Lotus Guide magazine on the stands. If you're local, pick it up. If not, you can read my article here.

Everyone is talking about the Phoenix.

According to one story, as this mystical bird nears the end of its life it builds a nest of aromatic branches and spices, sits upon it, and purposefully sets it on fire. Consumed by flames, the Phoenix becomes ash. That’s when a miraculous transformation takes place. At some point a newly formed Phoenix manifests, and in its own unique timing, rises, expands its wings, and flies away.

This classic metaphor of rebirth leaves me wondering about the “miraculous transformation". What is it? How does it happen? And aren’t ashes by-products of hot coals?

November 8th dramatically changed the lives of at least 50,000 people. 

The Camp Fire destroyed Paradise and nearby towns. Homes and land transmuted into coals and ashes, as did each person who lived inside those homes and upon that land.

First we were in core survival.

Stay alive. Drive through the fire. Then what? Where do we go? What happened to our family, friends, and neighbors? Did our house burn? Minute by minute, day by day, bottomless wellsprings of fear, disbelief, loss, and grief flooded our senses. Our emotional bodies are still staggering from the shock. Clothing. Insurance claims. Debris removal. Financial aid. Facebook groups. Town meetings. Trees. Paperwork. Water.

We’re alive, yet everything we knew and counted on is gone.

Who but us has an understanding of what it feels like to loose an entire town? Did you excavate personal items? For me there are no words to describe the insanity of sifting through debris searching for remnants of a Life. Still living the nightmare, we wonder, “Will it ever end? Is healing even possible?”

One day while feeling shattered and strewn about, I was graced with an “ahha” moment. I’m dismembered!  That’s when I recalled this teaching:

There is an energy of dismemberment occurring on the planet. Structures are toppling. Foundations are crumbling. We see this within individuals, families, communities, states, and countries.

Dismemberment must occur for change to happen.

Human Beings can become stagnant. The ways one does things must collapse and dissolve. Old and familiar limitations no longer apply – for yourselves and the planet.

Release the energies of the past; they no longer have a place in your present. It’s time to expand and create new ways of being and acting.

I finally understood what happens to the Phoenix while it’s in the ashes. It becomes dismembered.

Dismemberment is a breaking down or separation.

What once was whole becomes parts. It’s  a classic shamanic initiation. We Camp Fire survivors have been thrust into the disorienting initiation of the Phoenix. In our individual coals and ashes with every known thing stripped away, we’ve been dismembered.

Recently I was blessed to be able to purchase a new house.

I say house, because I’m in the beginning stages of making it a home. Landing does not mean I’ve risen. Who am I? I used to know. The Past is over, yet the Present is filled with the Past. My town is gone. The first home I ever owned exists only in memories and pictures. The land is in the process of being cleared from a nuclear bomb site to flat barrenness. No more guardian trees as PGE takes over and decimates what was left. I’m still dealing with the insurance company; are you? I have no familiar personal belongings. A core friendship dramatically deteriorated. Deep sorrow, once held in check by ancient survival strengths finally has space to emerge. The future? Unknown and unpredictable. My perspective about everything has shifted.

We are living the initiation of the Phoenix.

How could it be that almost nine months later we’re still in the dismemberment phase? This in-between dimension of coal and ash requires more time than we can ever imagine. Luckily there’s good news, for deep within this inexplicable, mysterious realm an alchemical process is at work. It happened to the Phoenix, and it’s happening to us.

In his dismemberment discourse, my teacher suggests:

“Each day will bring its own unique challenges. Enjoy them. Laugh. Say yes! Another structure has fallen. What is the new way for today? As everything crumbles new potential and possibilities present themselves. Dismemberment brings forth great opportunities for expansion. And within expansion, one finds the Self.”

In this process of finding our Selves again, let’s notice opportunities for expansion. Laugh often. Love freely from the center of our hearts. Spend time in nature. Seek support and healing.

We aren’t exactly like the Phoenix.

Our fire was not purposeful. We did not consciously choose to dissolve into ashes and become dismembered. It happened to us. Yet like the Phoenix, we’ve been placed within a realm of coal and ash where we are miraculously being Re-membered. Unified. And in time, we will rise. Transformed into newborns with the wisdom of the sage, we’ll expand our wings and fly away to new lands and lives. Brothers and Sisters, we might still be covered with ash, but fear not: in every story, the Phoenix rises.

18 comments

  1. Gena McCarthy
    July 12, 2019 at 10:03 pm

    A ho! Thank you, love.

    • Annie Fuller
      July 16, 2019 at 12:37 am

      Thanks beautiful Gena.

  2. Tami McCalip
    July 12, 2019 at 10:50 pm

    Beautifully written my friend! Thank you for sharing this perspective. I will definitely be sharing this with my family as I think this perspective should be shared with all affected. Those of us raised there have been impacted in a different way. So interesting to see my childhood home/church/community among the ashes and how it has impacted my entire family……Sending you so much love and healing during this transition time! xoxoxo Tamita

    • Annie Fuller
      July 16, 2019 at 12:36 am

      Thank you Tamita. I hope the article serves your family. We’re all so deep in ashes, slowly being re-membered. Slowly…….

  3. Erica Geller
    July 13, 2019 at 1:32 am

    Thanks for sharing this Annie… such a powerful transformation. Yes, there are no words but you found some beautiful ones. Thank you for helping change the world ❤️

    • Annie Fuller
      July 16, 2019 at 12:35 am

      Ahhh Erica, you are so welcome.

  4. Marti Anderson
    July 13, 2019 at 5:47 am

    Thank you Annie! I needed that. Love you much!

    • Annie Fuller
      July 16, 2019 at 12:34 am

      You’re welcome Marti. Yes. I believe we all need to have some kind of overview understanding. It always helps me. I’m sending love too……

  5. Paulita
    July 13, 2019 at 6:09 am

    That is packed full. More there than a haiku, that’s for sure! ; ) Yes, dismemberment.
    Yes, re-membering. Yes, reunification. Yes, nature. Yes, expansion. Yes, laughter, when possible. Yes, coals and ash still present. Yes, house not home. So many Yes’s. I love your closing, ‘in the stories, the Phoenix always rises’. And so it is. Well described, all of it. Grrrrr….. May Peace, Love and even Joy prevail.

    • Annie Fuller
      July 16, 2019 at 12:33 am

      Definitely more words than our haiku’s! Thank you Paulita.

  6. Jim Broderick
    July 13, 2019 at 5:22 pm

    What a beautiful perspective on a terrible occurrence and it’s repercussions. So happy you are now making a new home and memories. Your spirit is strong, Annie, and your future will be bright.

    • Annie Fuller
      July 16, 2019 at 12:32 am

      Thank you for your kind words Jim.

  7. Shannon Hopkins
    July 14, 2019 at 5:26 am

    The Phoenix always rises. And you are rising. I love your authenticity that you have not risen yet but are on your way. I’m loving you in your dismemberment.

    • Annie Fuller
      July 16, 2019 at 12:31 am

      Thank you Shannon. Through the ashes of dismemberment, I’m feeling your love.

  8. Lj
    July 14, 2019 at 11:19 pm

    Only one who has enormous capacity for compassion is able to give the greater whole these wisdoms. There is medicine in ash. Thank you, Annie, the love you are is felt deeply.

    • Annie Fuller
      July 16, 2019 at 12:30 am

      And only one who can see that overview can make that statement. Yes, I agree. There is big medicine in ash. Thank you LJ.

  9. Elizabeth
    September 18, 2019 at 2:00 am

    Some days I feel I will never rise. Today was one of those days. Thank you for this beautiful gift.

    • Annie Fuller
      September 18, 2019 at 5:06 am

      You’re so welcome Elizabeth. I totally understand. The next blog is about re-memberment – the process of rising. It will be in the Lotus Guide, and I’ll put it out here soon. Annie

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This gorgeous book is a gift to the world from someone who walks the path of the wounded healer. As a friend of the author, I watched this book get birthed, though it’s gestation was many many years in the making, and included painful and difficult experiences, unique encounters and adventures, and a deep opening and surrendering to the mystical realities of who we humans really are–spirits having an earthly experience. This birthed gift comes from the very depths and soul of a woman who has not shied away from facing head on her own pain and wounding and seeking out her own healing. As a healer, one of Annie’s gifts lies in her willingness to lovingly walk side by side with anyone willing to face their own traumas and wounding. Annie’s essence permeates the pages of this beautiful book, as does the essence of her artist friend Emily Grieves, whose stunning artwork weaves its own lyrical spell. This book will move you, and in all the right ways.

I felt the power of this beautiful book by just holding it in my hands. I was touched deeply by simply thumbing through the pages, the art was moving, and the titles of the chapters hooked me. Then I read it. The wisdom in this book will shift perspectives and guide many people down a path of healing. A must read for anyone who is ready to take the next step into self-discovery.

Just holding this book, experiencing the art, reading reviews and “The Letter to You” opens me to the clear intention it was written. I then read the Afterward, Gratitude and A few Inspirations and have decided to start a mini-book-reading with my neighbor to help open myself to receive this beautiful message. Thank you Annie for the birthing of “Unity Begins Within” to assist me and others on this powerful journey.

An incredible book on spiritual healing and returning to Oneness. Annie takes us on a journey through the experience of beauty and initiation in the Four-Petaled Flower, through the flowering medicine wheel and into the Unity that exists in the center of each of us and all life. If you are going through a time of spiritual transition of growth and rebirth, and/or work with clients who do, this offering provides incredible guidance and wisdom on understanding the multilayered experience of healing that leads us to Unity.

Annie, you continue to inspire me. Our healing sessions together, and through the pages of your book, I continue to be in awe of your strength and will to heal. Soulfully written, gave me chills and the feeling that spirit is deeply ingrained in the pages of your book. Eternally grateful to have been able to experience the teachings during one of the most trialing healing moments of my life.

I read this book over the course of one week, and it was a wonderful journey from start to finish. The author embeds tales of her personal evolution as a healer within a ceremonial journey of discovering and celebrating the four-petaled flower that the reader is invited on…from the opening to the closing of the ceremony, I felt the healing power contained within the words, images, prayers, and practices. This is an incredibly moving, experiential book that will become a beloved, trusted companion to everyone on a spiritual path, whether you’re just now beginning, or have spent decades walking.

I took this book on vacation and it turned into the guidebook for my own personal spiritual retreat! Annie is obviously a talent healer. Reading the stories of some of her many clients was very inspiring. I have bookmarked many of the pages that have exercises that can be repeated. The “questions for reflection” were excellent prompts for journaling! Highly recommend this book!

Annie gives us the opportunity to view each of the four petals with a purpose of expanding our own wisdom and light through the process of soul retrieval. All of our experiences being a bridge to being of higher service on our path if we are able to make the challenging journey; unity being the goal. The unifying prayer she shares with us, “The Light of Love is All” places us gently on our path. An amazing book!

This book is a transmission of wisdom to us by an author who has walked her talk. Annie is a powerful and true healer and she is sharing the how of that with us here. From her wisdom stream and those of her teachers she unpacks our inner world and our relationship with the spirit world in ways we can understand and then gives us practical tools to apply this understanding to our own lives. This book is one of those rare books you can open any time when you need support and you will find it here. This book is a love letter from the author to us at a time when we need it.

This is the spiritual book we all need for these new times. Annie Fuller’s spiritual teachings come from a lifetime of experience, both as the healer and the healed. The personal stories (both hers and others’) are captivating and so relatable. The artwork is inspiring. And the opportunities to put the healing methods into practice are priceless. I wish this book had been on the shelves for me 35 years ago. But I am happy to have it now. There is a depth and heart in this book that I have not found elsewhere. I will be buying more copies for friends and family. Everyone is getting it for their birthdays and Christmas this year.

UNITY BEGINS WITHIN is a beautifully written exploration of one woman’s journey into the memory, trust and knowing of Self. Annie Fuller weaves seemingly separate puzzle pieces of humanity together in a comprehensive way that is not only easy to understand but to inner-stand. The experience felt while reading this book is one of being immersed in Sacred Circle, sage burning, drum rhythmically beating while our guides and guardians surround us. Questions asked. Questions answered. A conscious merging of the human self with spiritual essence. An awakening to the heart and soul felt realization that Unity truly DOES begin within. This book is a divinely guided adventure and welcoming home to the Self.

I have had the joy of learning from Annie over many years, being in her healing room, at her altar and several of her workshops. This book is another potent transmission of her deep wisdom and gifts. She invites you into the ceremony of the four petaled flower through her writing, and if you allow yourself to receive this transmission, it can alter your experience of life. I would suggest this book to anyone who is ready to receive the gifts of the four petal flower, and the indigenous wisdom this book has to offer. The exercises at the end of each chapter allows you to dig deep, have your own experience, your own personal journey!

This book is a rare gem, in that the author has crafted it in such a way that complex concepts are made easy to understand and utilize in the reader’s lives. Annie Fuller combines Shamanic wisdom, life experience, healing practices, and practical know- how seamlessly, and the book is beautiful as well. I knew I was going to enjoy this book when I bought it but it has exceeded my expectations and has become a powerful source for healing and reflection.

Our ancestors and ancient teachers continue to teach us, if we listen. What a joy to read a book written by a masterful listener and keen observer. Annie Fuller is no armchair shaman. Annie Fuller put in the thousands of hours of study and practice in order to teach and serve. This book is a powerful, powerful synthesis of a lifetime of gathering wisdom, failure, joy, trauma, healing, tragedy and rapture. I am honored to have birthed my first born child with Annie Fuller as midwife. She is one of those rare humans who can hold death and birth in her hands, all the while teaching us with her presence. This book will give the reader sweet impetus to expand in consciousness and flex in vulnerability.

Within the pages of this exquisite tome penned by a venerable elder lies a treasure trove of wisdom waiting to be unearthed. Each word, carefully crafted, resonates with the depth of a lifetime’s worth of experiences and insights. From the first page to the last, readers are invited on a journey of self-discovery and transformation, guided by the gentle yet profound teachings of a master storyteller. This book is not merely a collection of words; it is a beacon of light illuminating the path toward greater understanding, compassion, and inner peace. Through its pages, readers will find themselves inspired to embark on their own journey of deep excavation, unlocking the hidden truths that lie within. A truly exceptional read that will linger in my heart and mind for years to come.

Yes, a lifeline to knowledge that I can understand. I have read and owned many like subject books, this Unity Begins Within hit my Spiritual healing button. I would recommend this book highly. This does follow Annie Fuller’s journey and how we can open up ourselves. My book is totally highlighted, pages tagged, etc. Thank you Annie Fuller for your book and sharing so much, I’m sure a lot of people can relate.

Many tears were shed while reading Unity Begins Within. Overall, my tears said this: “we, collectively, are so blessed to receive Annie Fuller’s words.” Knowing Annie in real life, my spiritual landscape has been greatly enhanced by her presence and leadership in Shamanic Journeying Workshops. Now we have a chance to read the evolution and deep knowing she has gained with her extraordinary openness and intuition as she practiced with her powerful teachers. She takes us on her physical journeys to mystical points south as well as introduces us to her spiritual worlds. This book is for anyone- as it is the balm of unity we need in these divisive times, but especially poignant, I would imagine, for those who have suffered personal trauma. Annie’s transformation from abused/confused child to gifted Shaman is one worthy of a deep bow of respect.The detail of Annie’s journey is a must-have for anyone interested in Native American Spirituality, Shamanism or, Physical and Spiritual Healing or Channeling Work. My hope and prayer is that many people will receive this message of love and unity.

What an extraordinary book, beautifully capturing a healer’s transformative journey toward true inner knowing and helping others discover that profound insight within themselves! I feel immensely grateful to have stumbled upon this gem, and I am eagerly looking forward to internalizing its wisdom and practicing to cultivate my own intuition and inner knowing. Thank you so much, Annie!

AMAZING!!! Thank you, Annie, for taking the time to share this with the world and thank you to all your guides and teachers and friends and those you have encountered along your journey that helped you to create and share this beautiful, creatively put together, life story! And with much more to come! My gosh! Beautifully written! I resonated with this journey from beginning to end! This helped me to understand more than I could’ve imagined!

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Unity Begins Within is a book with essential messages for all healers and those on the path of seeking wholeness. I was very blessed to have been in Annie’s first hands-on healing series. She was always a gifted teacher/healer and now author. This book is a source of lessons, wisdom and merging our human self with our spiritual essence. Annie’s stories and teachings come from her innate understanding of the spiritual universe we all come from and connect with. Emily’s artwork is awe-inspiring and beautiful. I recommend this book for all healers, teachers and everyone seeking wholeness.

Unity Begins Within is stunning in its purity and transparency. Annie Fuller is a gifted writer – articulate, straight, full of warmth and spirit. She has the rare ability to be deeply personal while making every word count.One of the reasons this book is so  profoundly well written is that Annie lives Unity. She is the very essence of generosity of spirit. Her writing and teachings come from a depth of experience, understanding and knowledge that shines with truth, courage and love. She brings a depth and intention to her teaching and writing that is rare, precious, priceless.

Endless praise and appreciation for this remarkable book! Its pages contain the very essence of the Four Petaled Flower and transmits Spiritual Unity to readers through compelling allegory, beautiful art, effective practices, and the loving intention of its author, Annie Fuller. The power of this book has infused my soul with an unanticipated sense of wholeness. Every word of this book is a Spiritual Healing. Stunning.

Annie’s book is wonderful. Clear, direct, candid in sharing her personal story. Deep in understanding and transmitting the nature of healing. most important, leads the reader through practices should they choose to do them. I have many spiritual books and books transmitting healing traditions. This one is valuable. For anyone genuinely looking to heal, become centered and grounded in personal power.

This book is such a jewel – A treasure chest of wisdom, stories and tools for sharing in the wondrous path that Annie has walked, and that will ultimately enhance anyone’s life who reads it.The writing is pure, clear and full of depth of spirit and emotion. Annie makes the incredible knowledge she has amassed so accessible. I am so grateful to have this beautiful work in my possession.

Unity Begins Within: Spiritual Healing Meets the Four-Petaled Flower is a beautifully written and illustrated book that weaves together stories of awakening, spiritual pilgrimage, vulnerability, and healing. I was deeply moved as I read it. The medicine of the Four- Petaled Flower, introduced by the author, guides the reader on a path of exploration and experiences that I found Transformational. Reading this book was a life shifting experience, and I know I will continue to refer to it in the days and years to come.

Annie Fuller, Shaman, Healer, Teacher, Author, brings all of her talents together in this beautiful book of Unity. The profound art of Emily K. Grieves is a perfect partner in bringing forth the message of “Unity Begins Within.” This is a book you will want to display and look through often, for both its spiritual messages and extraordinary works of art. As the title tells us, this is a book of spiritual healing through recognizing that we are all united as one being, and we will wake up from our collective amnesia when we understand that the unity we seek begins within each of us. Annie uses the image of the four-petaled flower as a compass for the four directions. Each direction gives us a template for finding power within ourselves; and, thus the healing process begins.

I needed to change my life 9 years ago. I found my way to Healing Quest with Annie Fuller: a 10 day vision quest. My life completely changed after that. Now her wisdom gathered from a lifetime is distilled into this fantastic book. Make no mistake. Your life WILL change into your next vision as Annie unfolds loving methods and magical ways to find unity within!

In this book of unity; the offerings, teachings, and practices are all woven through and around Annie’s amazing personal stories. This entertaining flow makes it hard to put down. Not to mention the gorgeous, sacred artwork, cohesively uniting the words with images in a soulful and visceral way. A book for the nightstand for sure! Or the coffee table! Annie is not only a gifted and generous writer, she’s also a phenomenal teacher with amazing healing gifts for the soul. I had the privilege of taking a class with her as well as receiving a soul healing through her. I love having this book within my reach now. A piece of Annie’s heart is held within each page. Always there when I need the deepest wisdom from the wisest friend! I know you will love this book and cherish it forever!

I came to know Annie when I was searching online for a Shamanic healer in my area. Little did I know that I was about to receive one of the biggest blessings of my life. Myself and my family have since referred to Annie and have undergone healing sessions by her. I have also read her amazing book which, at the time, I wished would never finish. Annie is a healer like no other on this planet and her sessions have been life changing for me. Her book describes her own healing journey as well as her insight about soul and how our lives can be affected by past traumas. Reading this book took me on a journey where I actually felt present through all the healing adventures Annie went through. This is a book that if you start reading you don’t want it to finish as there is so much wisdom present in this book. I hope to read more books from Annie in the future. She is a wise woman with an old, experienced soul. It was a great privilege to have been able to receive actual healings from her. Myself & my family can never thank her enough. Thank you for existing in our world Annie! You truly make a difference in people’s lives.